I would!
Its days like today that make us think
As we look back and ponder life
I imagine where I would be today
If you weren’t my wife
I would not get to see your beauty
Sagging under gravity Each and every day
I would not get to kiss those lips
That looks like a cat’s ass coming my way
I would miss having to squeeze past
Your ample ass to get to the fridge door
So I could make you those meals
To add girth to those hips some more
I would have damaged hearing
Because without the plugs I wear
To drown out your constant drone
I would never know when you’re near
I would be mentally stable and fit for work
But instead I am home caring for you
Living off welfare and handouts
Just so you can complain you have nothing to do
I would be rich of mind and wallet as well
Instead I have nothing to show for my lifetime
But a closet full of your clothes and shoes
That used to fit once upon a time
I would be a smiling happy man
If I could get a word in a conversation
But I do what I am told always
And sit back and lament with reservation
I would be happy if sex wasn’t like the dentist
It’s as tedious and painful as pulling teeth
I thought it was supposed to be fun
But then I never know I’m always underneath
I would be a ecstatic if you fell
Hit the ground and split your head
The blood seeping slowly on the step
As I slept in the comfort of my single bed
I would be jumping for joy if you left
If you took off with another man
To torment and cause so much pain
And you left me with my limited time span
I would sing from the highest point
If you were on life support in intensive care
And It was my decision alone that caused
You to take your last breathe of air
I would pay someone to change you
Out of your diapers Morning and night
While I sold all your clothes and shoes
Hit the town, got drunk and started a fight
I would be a happy man if I knew back then
What I know now today
I would have dated your girlfriend
Been happy instead of claiming I was gay
I would be a happy man if you were nice
Where in the rule book does it say?
Treat him with distrust and hate
It’s no wonder I write poetry to get away